Entry #4: Swagger

On Sunday's I like to reflect back upon my week and think deeply about all that happened. On this particular Sunday, however, my reflection is tainted by a black cloud of a thought that has enveloped my generally philosophic mind. That black cloud has a name; swag. The only recollection of this past week I have is getting stuck behind those "cool kids" with so much swag they could package it into fifty pound bags and ship it around the earth to end world hunger. Whilst walking down the hall trying to get to class on time I constantly found myself stuck behind these 'Swaggins'(I just coined a term). I know what you're thinking, "why dont you just go around?" The answer is simple, you cannot go around a pack of teens hellbent on walking as if they just got done riding a fully grown adult elephant. It is simply impossible. Why anyone would think walking at a snails pace is cool, I don't really have an answer to. In fact, why anyone these days would think it's cool to copy anything inmates do it jail is completely beyond my own understanding. For example, the guys that sag their pants below their ass-cracks even though they're wearing a belt probably haven't heard that that style originated in prisons. You see, the pants hanging down on the ground was, and still is, used as a sign to other inmates announcing, "Heya! I just got raped in the showers by Little Ned! His name is pretty ironic... Anyways, come have a go if you want!" Why teens think thats cool is, again, beyond my own understanding. When one particular problem plagues my mind so much as to prevent me from openly reflecting back upon my week there is a huge problem. So, I came up with a simple solution to fix the issue at hand. Starting this week, if I get caught behind you and your swag in the hallway at any point in the day I am just going to punch you square in the back of your head. It's as simple as that. No more asking you politely to walk faster or move, just a clean hard punch to the back of the cerebral cortex. Maybe that will connect those lose wires you have hanging inside your underused brain and make you see the light. I like to think of myself as a trail blazer. So if you find me in In-School suspension this week you'll all know why. Let us never be late to class again because of the 'Swaggins'. Once we fix them, we'll have to focus on the tool bags who like to have conversations in high traffic intersections in the hall....