Entry #2: Stupid Americans...

Whilst eating some quality gourmet chick nuggets at Wendy's the other day I decided I wanted to dunk my tasty morsel into some ketchup. However, as i proceeded to add some sweetness to the sodium covered food I hit a wall... literally. Or more precisely, I hit a wall that was the white paper we call a "dipping cup." Unable to ever so carefully cover the nugget I soon gave up and pumped ketchup unto a napkin. However, walking back to the table it fell through onto my white shirt and I went home utterly defeated. The next day, while sulking in school still from my horrid misadventure the day before, I was sitting next to my video production teacher when he said, "Did you know that six out of the seven dwarves weren't Happy?" This was enough to snap me, somewhat, out of my depression. Enough to ask him the question that has plagued mankind for centuries, "How do you fit the chicken nugget in those tiny cups?" His face lit up, as if a light from heaven decided to shine conveniently upon him at that precise moment... actually a car pulled into the sunlight at an angle that bent the light from the sun directly into our eyes forcing us to move out of the way before causing permanent cornea damage. After we recovered though he began to endow his wisdom upon me. He explained to me the mystical art that is Unfolding! Now I will pass that knowledge unto you, the lucky reader who actually gives two shits about this blog. You see, the cups themselves are folded into a spiral form. Once you place ketchup into their selfish grasps you must perform three very important steps to release the sweet nectar from its cold white hands. Step one, go back to your dining area and place the cup onto a perfectly flat surface. Some suggest that you carry a level with you to make sure it is flat enough. Once a postion has been taken up you enter Step 2, perhaps the hardest step in any activity you may attempt in your life such as discovering the cure for the common cold and yes, even harder than figuring out how to release your fingers from those Chinese finger traps WITHOUT cutting it with scissors. Step 2, proceed to pull the outer edges of the basterd of a white cup extending the folds out of their ancient slumbers. This will create a pedestal for your ketchup to sit on top of. You have just widened the circumference of the cup to triple its original size. If your chicken nugget still cannot fit then you should probably return it and claim they injected that particular piece with above average amounts of chicken steroids. Your last and final step, dunk that delicious pice of white meat into the sauce and enjoy the sweet and salty taste of cholesterol... I mean victory. Take what you have learned here and share this knowledge with all who you love. For it was passed down from the ancient Egyptians before the pyramids were built and handed through the very fibers of time. You're welcome for blowing your mind. This is my blogs first Mindgasm... the first of many to come.